A Lot Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a large week for homosexual-related basic individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual publications!

The very first piece relates to all of us via xojane, the ladies’s site headed upwards by Jane Pratt (my personal champion)

(i am really serious) of




Titled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part falls under the “it simply happened in my experience” element that also existed at JANE mag and is made up mostly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting private experiences.

The anonymous writer of this piece, which I’ll call “Ariel,” is clearly bisexual, but because she readily supplies hit tasks to her male partners but does not big date or often go lower on females, she’s, she explains, technically, only a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She also relates to herself as “mostly right” and “right” at additional points inside story.) Her reputation started, she describes, when her first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman school — transpired on her for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it following straight away fled the scene fearing her very own inability to do this type of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a protracted time frame.

She writes:

“naturally, word got around that she and that I had connected and this I would left her hanging, which in fact had the odd aftereffect of providing me personally folk-heroine status. Kelly known as myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It had been like some kind of movie conceit where champion is recognised incorrectly as a celebrity and extends to ride in a limo and remain in an elegant hotel caused by it.”

This obviously totally resolved in her support, as she romped about in college hooking up with lots of “aggressive kinds whom had gotten down on the idea that I became unwilling to leave a female touch myself.” Post-college, she shifted towards the net, in which she advertised the girl relaxed standing and sometimes came across with ladies for NSA sex.

Close to the end she problematically explains that when setting up with a lady she actually is maybe not attracted to, she merely closes the woman eyes and envisions someone else “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Often it seems like she wishes females to consume the woman away even though they truly are presumably better at it than the male is. She


go lower on them but “I’m not internet dating all of them, and I also don’t believe i’d wish to have my personal fetish corrupted by caring for someone enough to give back.”

I mightn’t want to sit down close to Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided sexual encounters tend to be consensual and she’s only informing a genuine tale of the woman existence, and so I’m not necessarily sure what you should label of this (and that I’m curious to understand what you make of it, if any such thing).

Subsequently, on Jezebel (via
The Favorable Guys Venture
) we
I Married a Lesbian (and that I’m some guy)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended receive crushes on a single type of woman: the star basketball player, the football ahead, the swimmer. Some happened to be lesbians. Some just weren’t.” The guy wondered:

What exactly is it that drew me personally so often to ladies who were same-sex drawn? It surely was not the stereotypical male fantasy in what they were carrying out during sex, also it definitely had nothing at all to do with a macho perception that i possibly could change a gay lady directly.

In elements, the piece (which does tred on some stereotypical soil) reminded me personally for this estimate from

The Girls Next-door

which I quoted in a write-up about female manliness

“…if we had to manufacture an added generalization about lesbian taste, it will be that the majority of you tend to be powerfully drawn to women, homosexual or straight, breathtaking or not, exactly who seem like they can manage on their own.”

The writer fundamentally marries a lesbian just who delivered as straight, and he discovered their causing love life to-be unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him strike tasks and didn’t like penetration but gladly accepted their choices of cunnilingus. When their unique sexless marriage finished in split up and a drug relapse (for him), he is relatively thoughtful to their ex-wife’s challenge rather than labeling her as deceitful (as many with the commenters do):

She had originate from a conventional family members who would have been profoundly embarrassed to own a homosexual kid. She may have recognized, but did their best to hide it, maybe wishing that the woman feelings might alter. Or she might-have-been like many women I’ve identified, and just found her correct sexual identification after already being married to a man.

What exactly is redeeming relating to this article to me that the author’s conception of his personal sex is mainly without any the standard masculine posturing one might count on in a bit in this way (he also makes reference to themselves as “femmy”). Perhaps it really appears that method because men very seldom reveal wishing powerful, sports, strong ladies with short hair; but it’s energizing nevertheless.

Really don’t mistake Hugo or Ariel for telling their own tales, but it’s well worth mentioning that both narratives frequently drive on idea that room behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy one another’s company, but Hugo cites Courtney’s disinterest in penetration as a “warning signal” the guy missed, when entrance is hardly a solely heterosexual act (it appears more inclined Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with a guy she failed to truly want becoming with, yet , you never know) and dropping in love, in the end, is mostly about your own pussy but it’s also concerning your center and it is largely about having intimate emotions. Those enchanting emotions are just what converts a hook-up commitment into a relationship, most likely.

Finally at


we’ve got a nice tale straight from horse’s lips —
My First-time: Female. 17. San Francisco
. I think this is the first-time the “First Time” series provides included a lesbian.

Fundamentally, in ninth class, the author confessed to her closest friend that she had lesbian thoughts on her, and her best friend reciprocated, and so they proceeded to carry on a stealth lesbian connection and they are however collectively now and the woman is a grown-up into the military!

It appears they will have however to simply take their particular connection out from the wardrobe, in fact it is some puzzling, but whatever

. [


: ends up this tale ended up being authored before DADT ended up being repealed, though it just adopted published, thus nothing is puzzling taking place right here. This is just straight-up sweet atlanta divorce attorneys way, unequivocally.]

The main focus associated with part (that will be very lovely and sweet) is found on the writer’s development of
just what lesbian gender IS

We had never ever been down on each different, and that I was actually confident that’s what we might meant as soon as we said we wanted to have sex. (Now I know that there’s more to fucking than slurping a woman’s vagina and calling it a day.)

She concludes:

I am aware that a lot of individuals differ in what virginity ways to a gay woman, but virginity is very subjective, also it truly relies on whom you’re inquiring. Many people might say penetration has to be included, but I think it is to the individual dropping his / her virginity. Easily feel like i have missing my virginity, next goddammit, We have!

I spent the majority of the early morning and mid-day staring at wordpress, trying to puzzle out exactly what point I could make about these parts. I was thinking a large amount about the reason we’d never ever distribute “I became a Lesbian Pillow Princess” on this subject web site but can not see through the explanation that I’d worry 50 people would vow to prevent come back here as well as the remaning many-thousands people would combat with each other about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure through to the heat death of the universe. I pictured someone posting “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via e-mail and then I imagined the editorial conference in which we’d arrive at that tale and all sorts of state “NO” simultaneously.

In trying to find a point to gleam because of these stories, i have tried to figure out what you’d consider or state, and that I are unable to, and that I want to complete this post as soon as possible to speed-up the entire process of myself determining how you feel about these tales. Yup, for the first time from the time beginning Autostraddle, I’ve had gotten no idea things to say about something. Therefore possibly i ought to simply ask you — what is actually your reaction to these parts?

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